Reply to It takes a village and I have no village

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dear OP,

Same situation here re: no village.

Here is what I did:
* actively seek out other mothers without a village.  You are prib attracted to nice smiley women with families in the area who help.  They are lovely, but they are not your village.  Look for women who don't have a village.  Candidly discuss trading childcare.  It works.
[/quote]

OP here. I  totally agree with this.  And actually I do seek out women to be friends with who don't have any local family here/are new to the area, because they have more time to get together. than those who do have family in the area.

I'm not looking for childcare help.  I'm looking for warm, caring friends who care about me.  Here's the kind of things I do for others: send care packages if they've had a major illness/been in the hospital, take my friends out for lunch on their birthday, bring by a Mother's Day gift on Mother's Day, bring home-baked cookies on Christmas, check in with them daily by email/text if they or their kids are sick, host baby showers, host holiday meals.

I feel like they don't do anything in return, and it bothers me.  I don't need babysitting help, I need a friend who cares enough to check in and see how I'm doing the day after surgery when they know my DH is on a business trip.

Here's another example: a few years ago I was in a car accident.  DH was on a business trip, so I had no one.  I posted a FB message from the ER asking if anyone could pick me up so I wouldn't have to take a cab home.  No one responded.  Do you know how terrible that made me feel?[/quote]

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