Reply to Daughter calls her stepmother “mom”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]The difference is your husband had time with his kids. My husband was not so lucky and no matter how much money we spent his ex refused vitiation and the judge would just tell her to do better with no consequences. No matter how hard my husband tried, he was taken out of the kids lives except for child support (expect kids were told he was a deadbeat and never paid which was far from the truth). At least your husband's ex was partly reasonable but there is an entirely different world for many dads (and some mom's too). My husband's ex was not happy with her choice. She is stuck with him for financial reasons and treated her and his kids very poorly but somehow Dad is always to blame. You may have taken the high road and done the right thing, BUT you had opportunities that many of us were denied because of the choices of the other parent. There are consequences for a parent not paying child support and free help for the parent not receiving it but a parent (who has done nothing wrong - no abuse, no neglect, did not have an affair and agreed to stay even after the affair for the kids) has no support to see his (or her kids) as there are rarely consequences for the custodial parent as people use the kids saying it will hurt the kids if there are consequences so both the kids and other parent suffer being torn apart [/quote]

Are you the OP? I was addressing her point, and I assume that as the mother with an ex who has a spouse the kids call mom, both sides are getting time with the kids. No one was judging you at all. Why would you think that? Did I miss something?

I'm sorry for what happened with your husband and agree that the system tends to favor the mother over the father, even when the mother is selfish and blameworthy and the father is not. That's not fair.

I will say that part of the reason DH's ex gave him (us) time with the kids is so she could do her own thing with her new husband. She told people about how great it was to be kid free every other weekend, which killed me when DH and I were dealing with infertility. But to her credit, she never said bad stuff about my husband or about me either (to my knowledge) and that made our situation go  more smoothly. [/quote]

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