Reply to Having trouble dealing with parents of kids who have rejected my DS

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, zero sympathy for you.  You got problems, and they're not your kid.

If the roles were reversed no way would you demand your kid be friends with another kid they no longer have an interest in.  That's life.  Deal with it and get therapy for your hostility issues.  [/quote]

Not OP, and this wasn't explicitly stated in OP's post, but there's a difference between "demanding your kid be friends" and teaching your kid to be polite even if they no longer want to be good friends anymore. That's a lesson that will come in handy as an adult, as well. Never burn a bridge. [/quote]

NP, but there’s no indication in OPs post that these kids are not being polite..they are simply not including her kid in group plans. It’s not unrealistic to expect that eventually the “invite the whole class” mentality evolves, and kids develop their own groups. There is naturally a lot of fluidity in late elementary to early high school friendships, not least of all for the fact that early on, the kids are picking their friends vs. The parents choices for play dates.

OPs projection about “rejection” also needs to be checked. Not being included is not the same as being rejected /actively shunned. These are kids that maybe have formed stronger relationships with one another, and this is separate from her son. Unfortunately, the groups get smaller and aren’t as inclusive, but it doesn’t necessarily equate to rejection. It could be something as simple as three of these kids who play a sport together aside from school being more friendly with one another.

I’d also wonder what OP is doing to cultivate these friendships. Is she so busy being bitter that she ignores these parents, and doesn’t arrange her own activities to invite these kids to? Is she being cold and shutting out these mothers and kids (which I assume based on her post)?

I had a friend who kind of went through this. She was so livid that her DD was getting excluded in school and actually contacted the school about her being isolated. Turns out her DD was stuck on being friends only with certain people and was basically rejecting (quite negatively/ rudely) any interaction with other girls who WERE trying to be her friend. What her DD didn’t realize is one of the “popular” kids she was trying to get in with was actually close with one of the “unpopular” kids outside school due to a shared activity... it was her double edged sword when the “unpopular” girl was sharing with the “popular” one how badly she was being treated by friends DD. [/quote]

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