Reply to If you were stay at home mom or working mom what are your regrets?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Stayed at home 15 years (started when my son was 6 months old) and then went back to work part time when my kids were in 6th and 8th grades.

Not a lot of regrets, although the transition to staying at home was tough. I missed the camaraderie of an office and never clicked 100% with mom groups. But I'm so glad I had the time with my kids, even though I would never say I loved every moment. You really hear a lot more from your kids when you're with them more...random comments, questions, confessions, plus you get the chance to point out lessons to be learned, etc.

I also feel like I developed myself personally during this time. I learned to be frugal and developed a ton of domestic skillz while they were young, even though I would never have called myself crafty or talented in this area. I learned to cook, landscape, knit, sew halloween costume-level-stuff, and do easy home improvement like painting. I started a women's hiking group when the kids were in school and volunteered a little bit with their school. When I actually went back to work I found it interesting how many women didn't know how to even sew a button back on their blouse or plant a shrub etc and so spent money hiring people for these tasks.

My regrets about not working all this time is that I could have earned a lot more money. But the older I get the more I feel like the experiences were worth way more than than money ever would be. My oldest will be out of the house next year and the next just 2 years behind. Granted, my DH makes a decent living now ($150k) but when I started staying home in 2002 it was $85k. Our vacations usually entail East Coast family visits so we didn't have a lot of extra money for that. But I'm not sure how much I care about that stuff - it's the daily kid interactions that mean the most to me and that I want to encourage. When your kids are teens, you just need to be sitting there, not saying anything (preferably, ha ha!) - and this is when they'll open up to you.

Whatever you do, it will be the right decision. So many ways to slice it, and everyone's needs are different - kids, parents, and couples alike!

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+1. Well said! Mirrors my experience very well (my kids are 14 and 11). I'm glad i can be so present with my kids. You can't get the time back.[/quote]

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