Reply to If you’ve considered suicide, what keeps you from doing it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My heart aches for OP and all of you who're hurting.

My H has afib and it got really, really bad recently, to the point where he couldn't even lie down to sleep. In some really despairing moments he's vented that he'd prefer shooting himself over what he's going through. It was very upsetting to me, especially since we have 2 toddlers. So I made a deal with him about never saying such things out loud. Now I'm wondering if that's perhaps not the best approach. I didn't believe he meant it, but what if...[/quote]

This is the worst approach. You do not stop the suicidal thoughts or desire by not talking about it. You have basically said, you pain is too scary for me. So he is alone in his pain. Please talk to him. Look him straight in the eyes and say, "I know you are in pain. I know you want the pain to stop. I know the only way you can think to make the pain stop is to kill yourself. I am by your side. I will sit with you in the pain. I love you. You are not a burden. You, not your pain, not what you can do, but YOU, are the most important person to me. And I would be devastated if you died. If you can't hold on for you, hold on for me. Your kids love you. They need you. They don't care if you are healthy. They just care that you are here, in any form."

"If you ever feel like you want to die, please talk to me. Let me shoulder some of the pain. I won't ever turn away from you and the scary thoughts  and feelings you are having"

Then--contact a therapist that deals with chronic illnesses. And also read up on how to help someone who is suicidal. [/quote]

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