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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD is now almost 16.  We had this issue in MS (and still do to an extent).  My approach was to talk to her about why she wants to dress this way and then talk about the pros/cons.  For instance, if she likes her body and wants to show it off , that's not awful. Just be clear about why she's showing it off.  If she's doing it because everyone else dresses that way, she should think more deeply about it.  Does she want attention from boys?  Nothing wrong with that, but is this the way she wants to catch their attention.  Engage her in these discussions and LISTEN to what she has to say.  My DD now dresses mostly in sweatshirts, but very rarely she'll put something on more revealing. I definitely feel like her need to show off her blossoming body was greater in 7-8 grade than it now is in 10th.

I tried not to weigh in too much but I did set some limits.  I used humor whenever possible (if you think shorts that show your but cheeks look good, how about I get my own pair to  wear to your next soccer game). If she was going somewhere outside of MS crowd (i.e. downtown Bethesda), I was more likely to warn her that she looked 21 and might attract unwanted attention from creepy old men. That prompted her to change on at least one occasion. She was cat-called while with me once by a disgusting much older man, so that was a teachable moment as well. My advice is to establish this dialogue without "slut shaming."  Your DH's perspective can be part of that, but I'd advice him to stick to explaining his perspective as a former teen boy and college guy that might not have been able to distinguish between a 14 year old and 19 year old.  Stay away from the idea that clothing choice really tells you anything about the girl/woman.  Of course you can talk about judging a book by its cover, making incorrect assumptions based on appearance etc.

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This goes along the same lines of my daughter wanting to post a picture on IG in a bikini (she's in high school though, not middle school).

I didn't outright tell her she couldn't do it, but I explained to her the perceptions around what she posts and said something along the lines of...

I told her that a picture that's cute of her & her friends jumping in the pool or being goofy or fun is fine & says I'm carefree, fun loving & don't take myself too seriously.

However, the posey-posey, lips pursed "duck style" together, elongated side profile of her body, etc says more along the lines of "I'm insecure, posting this picture is definitely attention seeking behavior & my self worth is completely wrapped up in how many "likes" and positive affirmations I get to make me feel good about myself".

Fast forward... she's never posted another sexy shot again (just for the fact that she would be horrified at the thought that it might make her look like a "try hard").[/quote]

Are you sure she doesn't have a "Finsta" account?
[/quote]

Lol, she doesn't... although, she told me a girl from school has one & the girl is known as a slut for having it (I hate girls calling each other that).[/quote]

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