Reply to How to deal with family member who has been accused of sexual abuse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You don’t have to operate in tandem all the time, you know. Let your husband go to events where this guy will be. You can refuse to go. [/quote]

I agree with this. If your husband wants to hang out with this guy outside your home, so be it. But I would put my foot down and not invite him to my house or socialize with him myself.[/quote]

This.  I don't think it means that your husband has to shut him out completely.  But I wouldn't be around him and I certainly wouldn't let him around my family or attend extended family gatherings.  If your husband would feel better meeting him every once in a while for coffee or a drink, I would be okay with that (but I would hope that your husband would steer the conversation elsewhere).

Now if the relative took full responsibility for what he did, sought counseling to better understand how to make sure it never happens again and sincerely apologized to the victim (in a broken, 'how could have I ever done that' way), I might be more inclined to have some empathy for him.  But someone who assaulted someone else and won't take responsibility for that.  Nope, nope, nope. [/quote]

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