Reply to Anyone NEVER lock in to motherhood?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]FWIW OP, I have a 2 year old and a second on the way and I feel like you too. This decision to have a second one was agonizing in a way that deciding to have the first was not - I sobbed when I got the positive test. Deciding to do it anyway was rooted primarily in wanting to have two grown children someday, tbh with you. I may still end up regretting it. I would probably not admit this out loud. [/quote]

This is the PP with the almost two year old. If we have a second, it would be for the exact same reason, really. [/quote]

Another poster who feels the same way and will probably have a second for this reason[/quote]

NP here who has a 2 year old and another on the way.    We had some fertility challenges and I was so desperate for my first child.  The second came much easier than I expected and I, too, had some intensely mixed feelings upon seeing the positive test.  I was actually crying to DH last night about my insecurities as a parent.  He's the most committed, selfless father who loves every second of parenting.  I do not love every second of parenting, and, while I love my DD to pieces, I don't find myself waiting eagerly for her to wake up in the morning/from naps, etc. the way he does.  I'm looking forward to seeing my daughter as a big sister, and looking forward to the sibling relationship I hope to be able to cultivate in my kids, and I'm happy to know I'll have two grown children someday, but I can't say I'm approaching the next couple of years without some trepidation and insecurity about my ability to really enjoy parenting two little kids.[/quote]

So your husband never wants to just sleep in and then go out to a lazy brunch, or eat a quiet peaceful breakfast, instead of taking care of a 2-year-old? He never wants to lay around all afternoon then go to happy hour and dinner, instead of spending the evening with a 2-year-old? Never ever?[/quote]

Honestly, kind of never ever.  Occasionally he'll want to sleep in, but I'm talking maybe a handful of times since she's been born.  He doesn't voluntarily go for brunch or happy hour and dinner instead of spending time with her. She's an easy toddler and is happy to sit at brunch or whatever, but we've never had a babysitter put her to sleep.  She goes to bed early (6pm) so he will go out after she goes to bed, but the only thing that he really *needs* to do without her is work.  It works out well for me since I feel like I have him as a built in babysitter if I want to stay out after work!  And since she goes to bed so early we still have time alone as a couple.  He comes from a much less stable upbringing than I come from and I know he feels incredibly lucky to have such a solid home life and family now, and he's also terrified of repeating negative and neglectful behaviors of his own dad, but, like I mentioned in my previous post, the very high standard he sets can make me feel very insecure/inadequate as a parent sometimes. [/quote]

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