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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP,

I've been through this with my DH for 15 years and I can tell you more monitoring doesn't work.  This is an illness that won't be fixed simply by scolding him or hovering over him no matter how much he may genuinely want to change.  He needs treatment.  The mistake I made years ago was thinking I didn't have enough money for therapy and putting it off.  It was far more expensive NOT to get therapy than to invest in it.

In the meantime, protect yourself.  Don't just monitor - you'll make yourself crazy and it won't solve the problem  - but completely separate your finances.  Buy a home in your name only, even if it means you need to get  smaller home.  Close all joint accounts and insist on a certain $ amount for bills each month.  Soon enough the credit card problem will take care of itself because he won't be able to get credit if he overextends himself and you won't be there to bail him out.  Remember this is his problem and protect your own credit.  DH actually ended up losing his bank account too and had to switch to a prepaid card.  Ridiculous given our salaries but not my problem.  I still get my money for bills so that I can save a portion of my income, my credit is excellent, and my funds are secure.

You'll need to decide if you can live with this.  In my case, there is enough good in DH that I've accepted this major flaw as long as I'm protected and he is managing his condition in therapy.  If you can't live with the reality that your DH will always struggle with finances to some extent, you really have no choice but to move on.[/quote]

++++1 to all of this. Great response. [/quote]

If you're married buying a house in your own name does NOT protect you. All debt will be married debt. Get a financial advisor.[/quote]

It does to an extent. It’s much harder for creditors to go after an asset that’s not in his name.

The lack of protection comes if you divorce - then it’s all “marital assets and debt” [/quote]

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