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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My bigger concern is that you're spending "every spare dollar" on your nanny, yet you're planning to have a third child. Unless you're expecting salary increases soon, how are you going to afford #3 if you can't even shell out an extra $300/mo to help your already born child prepare for K?[/quote]

I feel like people are very cavalier about money on this board. We are not struggling, and I guess it is exaggerating to say every spare dollar goes to nanny. But currently our fixed monthly expenses are about 65% of our income. And that doesn't include food or household expenses or repairs.

I don't want to say that we cannot afford another $300 a month payment. [b]I'm just not sure it is responsible to[/b]. It is not that we can't afford a third child. We just can't afford to have a third child and pay for them all to have a preschool experience. Or we could, but the family might struggle a bit. I think keeping the family fiscally comfortable ALSO provides a significant benefit to my daughter, although one much less solid.

I'm not trying to be argumentative. When PP put the math out there like that, I see what she's saying. In my mind adding another $300 a month is very stressful, but not really that much when you add it up for just one year. It has definitely put it in perspective and given me something to think about. [/quote]

No offense, OP, but you have stopped your husband's retirement contributions in order to pay for this childcare situation.  It's not that other arrangements wouldn't provide excellent childcare (and also much of the socialization you seem to wan now), it's that you really wanted a nanny, so you stopped making the retirement contributions that will do the most good in the long run.  Now, you're talking about limiting *your* retirement contributions, as well - you blew by "responsible" a while ago, and you're headed towards lunacy.

You can't afford preschool.  You can't really afford the nanny either.  And you probably can't afford a third (although this is where a nanny does come in handy, at least initially, because there's only a limited cost to add a third - but you're talking about another 2 years of the nanny, and presumably no DH retirement contributions).  [/quote]

FWIW DH is going to be ramping back up on retirement next month. We had unexpected home repairs and travel obligations (family stuff) that required us to have to dip into our emergency fund last fall. We have rebuilt that and will resume his contributions in a month or two.

The nanny allows us to see our kids all day. We both work from home. My DD went to daycare from 6 months to 1.5 and I loved her daycare and she had a great experience there, but we have been able to be so much more present in their lives. It isn't about having a nanny as much as it is about having them at home. I have no problem with daycare at all conceptually. But we have just been THERE so much more for our son's milestones simply by being physically in the building. When he started walking I could come down for five minutes and help him every once in awhile, that kind of stuff. I think that provides value to the kids too. [/quote]

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