Reply to 18 year old daughter in a bad path

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "18 year old daughter in a bad path"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]So your daughter is going down the path of trashdom[/b]. It's a hard thing to say but that's what I'm seeing based on your description.

Some people just seem to gravitate towards this kind of lifestyle and attitudes. It does happen to some kids from nice families. I cannot tell you why. Kicking her out of the house could help her a la the school of hard knocks, or it could worsen everything by driving her [b]more firmly into the kingdom of trashdom as she shacks up with the boyfriend, gets a baby out of wedlock, spends her day smoking pot and not working and boom, there goes her life. The extreme tattoos at her age does imply that she's naturally inclined into this direction anyway. 
[/b]
You can't predict the outcome at this point. I'd probably kick her out and hope for the best. [/quote]

Ugh, shut up, elitist snob. You snotty DCUM broads with your "trashy" and "tacky" insults. Get over yourself. You are no arbiter of class. Classy people don't say things like that.

OP I think the most important things are, in this order, not getting pregnant and doing something meanginful. Maybe that's getting a full-time job and/or schooling that is not beauty school (community college for core classes would be ideal, but nursing, phlebotomy, sonography, even medical billing or early childhood education all are better options -- with the last one she could teach kids art or something since she's artsy) and having her pay some of her own bills. Like others suggested I'd also try to intervene somehow with the trust fund. Or even better, try something non-traditional.

As long as she doesn't get pregnant, the rest can be temporary. I was a C- high school student and starting getting caught smoking weed and worse when I was 16. My mom sent me away that summer to a fine arts program across the country, which I hated her for at the time but I ended up loving and it was great for me. But I came back home and, even though I started running with a slightly better crowd, still was using and got arrested. I was on that bad path; thank god I didn't have a boyfriend or have sex. But college was not optional, and I got into one thousands of miles away and off I went. Still partied hard, binge drank, smoked weed every day...all the way through college. But I did change in other ways. I found a major I actually liked and was interested in. I got the best grades I'd gotten in years. I took a semester off and backpacked Europe solo and came home and got straight As for the first time in my life. I graduated cum laude from a large but semi-rural state school, moved to DC and launched a successful career. I'm still successful, I have a family, I'm well-traveled, I'm not "trashy," and I lived to tell the tale.

Number one, get her an IUD. Number two, see if you can send her somewhere. Being outside your comfort zone forces you to learn all kinds of hard truths and lessons about yourself, about life, about the world around you. Whether it's a school program that's out of state, an outward bound program of some sort, or some of that trust money used toward a plane ticket and travel guide book...force her out of her comfort zone. Not permanently. Try 6 weeks. Give her parameters but let her figure out the details ("Here's a plane ticket and Eurail pass, here's your budget"). Do not bail her out when she calls crying that she's been pick-pocketed. She'll learn important lessons and maybe she'll discover something inside herself. And you wouldn't have to kick her out, she'll have amazing experiences that will probably change her life, and she'll thank you later.

It could work. It'll be ok, OP.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics