Reply to If you didn’t marry a rich man is your life difficult?

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Reply to "If you didn’t marry a rich man is your life difficult?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] So because life isn’t ideal and we can’t all marry the top 10% of high earning men, how is life like? If you’re expected to bring in your fair share or income in addition to raising children, what’s yaour day to day like? Can this ever be considered a preferred life choice even?
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In my opinion, you need fairness and balance between the two of you with income, flexibility of job, how many kids you choose to have, division of labor and support network (aka family willing to help out).  It can look differently for different people.  I don’t know anyone that simply married rich. My aunt choose to live right near my grandma and she had one child.  I think that helped out with her career.  I know several female lawyers married to teachers.  I have friends that are doctors married to SAHD or travel a lot for work with SAHD.  Women with intense well paying careers, that live near their parents, and hands on DH with 9-5 type well paying jobs in IT with some flexibility.   Some folks have a nanny/au pair and either parent nearby or between the DW and DH there is some flexibility in jobs at different times.

[b]What does not work, IMO, is DH having a low paying, inflexible job with a lot of hours and DW or DH does not have family nearby willing to help and DW is the breadwinner and default parent/everything around the house with multiple kids and there isn’t enough money to outsource.  So DH doesn’t need to be rich but if he isn’t pulling his weight and you don’t have the money to outsource or family to help that’s when it’s difficult.[/quote][/b]

This part right here. I’m the higher earner and the majority of childcare and household responsibilities falls on me. We have no family nearby and DH refuses to move. I feel we’re headed for divorce. I can’t continue life like this. [/quote]

+1 on the bolded above. I earn 3x what my does and feel significant pressure all the time. DH helps at home, but his low-paying job is inflexible and he works odd shifts not conducive to quality family time. We don’t have local support. I resent living this way, but feel like divorce would be worse.[/quote]

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