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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP  - you could try having a conversation with your mother about how selfish and greedy your sister is acting. She probably knows but may not have a complete idea of how bad it is with her. Come up with a list of all the things that your sister has taken over the years and let your mother how she throws fits when your mom gives anything to your children/grandchildren.

One option since your mom seems to be very interested in where her things will go is to make a full inventory (including what had already been taken by sticky fingers) and have your mom put down who it should go to and when.

If your sister gets mad at you just shame her. Let her know that this was necessary because she was was behaving inappropriately. Don't let her fit throwing bother you. If someone threw a fit in front of me the way you describe your sister I would bluntly say something like "Wow, I would be so humiliated if I ever behaved the way you do. Are you not aware of what you are doing? Would you like me to record this fit so you can share with others?"

[/quote]

PP here.  I agree with your perspective, but people like the sister are not going to say "you are right, I was wrong, let me make this right..."  It is not in their vocabulary, or brain to do this - to step up and do the right thing.  All they see is how they can serve themselves - that's it, no one else.  Anything they do is in the spirit of making themselves look like some sort of hero. In fact, if the sister knows it bothers OP - then the sister (people like her) will do this all the more , it is how they operate - spite and selfishness. It is difficult to understand, unless you have seen it first hand.  OP needs to take what she wants now.  I saw my friend go through so much, and in the end, all the sister had to say was "if I find it, you can have it..." and those types of evasive responses.  Like I said, anything for my friend not to get what she wanted and/or deserved, even though she and her mother and her children were all very close.  My friend's mom died knowing that the sister was a total (!!!) screw up, and my friend was (after all) everything that the mother had wanted the sister to be.  If you don't think that fueled all of the hate by the sister, so that the sister took everything. Well, it did. [/quote]

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