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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So why don't you see if she will come to stay with you if she has an escort each way.  Your FIL takes one weekend and flies out with her to your home, spends a day or two and then flies home alone.  She stays for some duration dependent upon how long you can tolerate her in your home and how long she feels comfortable being away from home and her husband.  Let's say she comes out for two weeks.  Then at the end, your husband flies with her to her home and flies back home alone.  She has a a trusted escort for each trip who can take care of all of the travel issues that cause her anxiety and she doesn't have to worry about those.  She just has to go for the ride.  She'll be staying in your home for her visit, but she can stay longer than your FIL can take off from work.
[/quote]

OP here.  We have done this before, and it works fine.  The complicating factor is that we live in Europe right now, and the trip here is a bit complex given the small city they're flying from in the States.  At least two connections, not cheap.  My FIL has to come over 1-2 times a year for work.  She will usually fly with him, and my husband will have to take a train or a plane to pick her up and bring her to our house.  FIL will come later and then they fly home.  So, in response to previous posters, this may simply be related to travel.  However, I also think there is something to the idea that she and my FIL simply prefer/need to do everything together.  I've never seen two people that are so intertwined.  Again, I love them both, and mean no disrespect.  I am simply trying to figure out ways to make her feel more comfortable coming to stay with us.

But I also hear what everyone is saying about anxiety/mental illness.  I have anxiety myself, so I understand, but perhaps hers is so crippling that it's not possible for her to overcome it.  I'll stand down, but ultimately feel sad for my children that they won't have the same relationship with my ILs as they do with my parents (who visit frequently).  [/quote]

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