Reply to Do I have a husband problem or a money problem?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]I feel that my DH and I are not on the same page about things that I wish was a priority for both of us. I find that I am unable to live and do things I want because my DH is always so discouraging and does so by citing our financial limitations. [/b]I think with creativity and prioritizing we can live frugally hit also do things that make me happy. He thinks since we aren’t rich we should essentially live like hermits.
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You basically expect him to sacrifice for your priorities/things he could care less about but you aren’t figuring out how to step up your game to afford them or prioritize your priorities and let go of some of the other things.  I would also add that no matter how creative and frugal you are, you can’t fund an expensive grad degree, have children and pay for childcare, take 3 trips a year, eat organic, and furnish your home with new matching furniture all at the same time with the financials you have.  In fact, if you were single on what you alone make with the unstable contracting gig you wouldn’t even be contemplating all of that - so while you say your DH is holding you back, he actually isn’t.

I would say take a step back and figure out what sacrifices YOU will make (not DH) for your prioritized list of priorities.  If travel is most important, negotiate with DH and say, when I get a higher paying job or second job, I’d like to set aside a certain % for travel and some to pay down our debts from the additional money.  If an advanced degree is your priority, look into jobs that have tuition reimbursement as a benefit and value employees going for further education.  If furniture is the most important, see if a second job at a furniture store in order to get a discount and bring in the income to pay for the furniture.  To me that is what it means to do this with creativity and prioritizing, not just taking away something the other person wants to get what you want.
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