Reply to S/O what do you gain from maintaining a a friendship with a man whose wife hates you?

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Reply to "S/O what do you gain from maintaining a a friendship with a man whose wife hates you?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think that I would feel comfortable hanging out with a married guy whose wife hated me.  That just sounds like a really bad idea and when their marriage blows up, as it almost certainly will, I would not want either one of them to point the finger of blame in my direction.

Send cards and talk to them openly on Facebook.[/quote]

I think it’s up to him to decide whether to maintain friendships that his wife disapproves of.  If he’s keeping up a problematic friendship, that’s a problem between him and his wife, not the wife and the friend.[/quote]

Yeah, well it would be my choice not to be hanging out with a guy whose wife *hated* me. I have about zero interest in that kind of BS drama and I would be p*ssed at a friend for putting me in a situation like that.  I do not want to be collateral damage when that ticking time bomb goes off.  No thanks![/quote]

How would the friend be putting you in that situation?  He can’t control his wife’s emotions, he can only control his own behavior.  If his wife has turned super controlling and possessive, he might really need his friends.[/quote]

He is the only one who has the power to get out of that relationship.  I didn't say I would stop being his friend but I would absolutely stop hanging around with a guy whose wife hated me.  And I would tell him why I was not comfortable hanging around him.  While I might love my friend and want only the best for him, I've got a marriage and a family of my own to consider and my husband.  Putting myself into the middle of my friend's bad marriage does not seem like a wise thing to do.  Too much could go wrong and, quite frankly, I would not want the stress and the drama of it all.[/quote]

The difference between us is I don’t let other people’s crazy stress me out.  If she’s losing her mind every time we get coffee, that’s her problem. I don’t worry about it because there’s no conflict in my friendship or in my marriage.  It’s all good here.[/quote]

If she is flipping out on your friend every time she finds out that you met with him for coffee then just think about what your friend is living with. He needs a wake up call.  By you, a trusted friend, saying "Hey, your wife's reaction is w-a-y over the top.  I'm honestly afraid for you and I don't want to trigger your wife by seeing you" that might be enough to wake him up and deal with his marital problems.[/quote]

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