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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "My children (adopted) said that we weren't a real family"
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[quote=Anonymous]I'll recommend a terrific book: TWENTY THINGS ADOPTED KIDS WISH THEIR ADOPTIVE PARENTS KNEW. It's a guide through some of the feelings adoptive kids have and some of the ways those feelings get expressed. As another poster noted, even though what was said landed hurtfully for you, it really wasn't about you. Your ES-age kids are trying to find language to talk about very big and complicated feelings they have. As a parent in a family built through adoption, I will echo that the positive talk in your family about adoption will sometimes get undermined by mean or thoughtless kids. Throughout ES and especially MS, my DD was often asked about her "real mom" and more than once told that her real parents didn't love her enough to keep her. To equip your kids to deal with all that, you've got to be the safe space for their feelings.[/quote]
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