Reply to My children (adopted) said that we weren't a real family

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Reply to "My children (adopted) said that we weren't a real family"

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[quote=Anonymous]Ugh, sooo hard OP, I'm sorry.  It sounds like you did really well in handling it.

I agree that your kids didn't mean it the way it felt to you, their feelings will evolve over time, and it is so great that you and they can have open discussions about adoption.

I find books to be tremendously helpful with these topics - age appropriate books can be a terrific way to have a conversation about something that isn't so directly person (they're not talking about you, or themselves - just a character in a book), and to bring thoughtful perspectives to things.  I have kids through donor eggs so I can empathize somewhat with sensitivity around the topic of genetic/biological/real parents.

Remember that you're in this for the long haul, not for an elementary aged snapshot.  Someday you'll be able to tell your child about this conversation and he'll give you a huge hug and tell you how ridiculous he was.

For right now, every time you hear Mom, are the person they need when they're hurt, the person who knows why they're upset, the person who can soothe them to sleep, the person with whom they can be silly or snuggly, or....   you're being told you are unequivocally their mother - in  every critical and profound way.

Hang in there Mom - you are doing a GREAT job!  Your kids hit the lottery with you, which they know in their bones but just can't be articulate about yet.[/quote]

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