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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I was really hoping this wouldn’t fall into an abortion debate but here we are.

I am this girls god mother which is how we have had a close relationship but I am also related to her.

Her parents have passed away so her options for a safety net are v limited. I have already been the one to lean on through a v difficult time—I held an intervention and got her into a mental health hospital and then paid for rehab. Since then she’s been using but now says she’s going to meeting everyday and is not using.

I’m trying to come up with health boundaries myself as I navigate this. She’s 18 so technically an adult. But IMO stopped developing with the trauma she went through at 12 with her parents.

This is a girl who went to all the private schools you all freak out about getting into who’s parents bought in all the neighborhoods you guys debate and salivate over. As one of the previous posters said—indeed, by the grace of god go you. [/quote]

If she is going to meetings and has stopped using drugs that's good.  She simply has decided that she wants to have a baby at 18 then that is her choice.  I think it is completely fair to tell her that while you love her and will love her baby, too, you do not feel up for raising a small child again.  The fact that she wants to move in with her boyfriend's family indicates that she is aware that she will need some help and she is willing to sacrifice a bit of her own personal freedom to get that help.  She might be more mature than you realize.

I hope things work out.  Give yourself time to let this sink in.  I know it's a shock and not what you had envisioned for her but ultimately it is her life.
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