Reply to Did anyone have an adoption fall through at the hospital

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for the responses. We had a baby born still years and walking out those labor and delivery doors without a baby is truly my worst fear. I know the chances of it happening are likely so I am trying to physically and mentally prepare myself.  We have had matches that have fallen through before but both at much earlier stages. Everything points to "its a go" but I know how suddenly things change during these situations. Ive been getting migraines like crazy and DH has lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks. We just really want it to "be over" so we just know.  Thanks for letting me vent anonymously. [/quote]

I am so, so sorry for your loss, OP.  I wish you every happiness.  I hope you can also hold on to the awareness of the kind of grief the first mother may experience if she walks out of labor and delivery without her baby, too, only with the added (or different) grief of leaving her baby behind.  I hope you will give her time and space to be certain and allow hormones and emotions to settle down before she makes her final decision.  Please do not cried her or rush her.  I know many first mothers who deeply regret their choice to relinquish and felt incredible pressure from the adoptive families.  They genuinely cared about the prospective adoptive parents and felt such pressure not to break anyone’s heart at the last minute.  But compassion for you should not outweigh her if she chooses to parent, and I hope you can be as loving and generous as possible in allowing this baby to be raised by its natural parents if that is what the mother chooses.  Please give her time alone with the baby and allow her emotions to settle.

Rooting for your family in every way, and for this child and her mother.[/quote]

There is no such thing as a first mother and natural parent.  You constantly comment on here your anti-adoption rants.  Its unfortunate you had a bad experience but your posts are offensive with first parent, natural parent... an parent through adoption is no less a parent and is not an 2nd parent or unnatural parent.  My heart would break of you spoke to my child that way about adoption.[/quote]

I think that the PP is correct though, to give the birth parents time and space to make their decision. This is their baby before anyone else's and they shouldn't feel pressured or rushed, as hard as it is for the adoptive parents. I'm so sorry for your loss, OP, and I hope you do wind up bringing a baby home. I know a couple that just took their adopted baby home from the hospital this time last year! [/quote]

This has nothing to do with the topic.  You missed the point completely.  This isn't about how to interact with the birthparents.  It is about the fear of a failed adoption.[/quote]

Right.  And OP might be better off if she gave herself some emotional distance and accepted that the baby belongs to the birth mother unless/until she relinquishes and any revocation period runs out.  It's always better to accept reality.  Not sure why OP is even (apparently) going to be in L&D. That seems like a lot of pressure on everyone.  [/quote]

I am a birth mother and when my daughter was born, the adoptive mother was there during the birth. It was a beautiful (though very, very difficult) experience. It depends on the type of adoption. Don’t rush to judge or assume.[/quote]

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