Reply to My parents treat me like I'm 5...I'm 39

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents (especially my mom) have never made the shift from being the parents of a child to being the parents of an adult. My mom is condescending and undermining. I'm sure she means well, but it's infuriating to me. They feel like they have the right to be involved in my business, and try to make me feel guilty when I explain that it's not their business.

For example, I've been sick with a sinus infection this week. I waited until after a week had gone by and symptoms hadn't improved. In fact, they were getting worse. So I went to the doctor and the doctor prescribed antibiotics for a variety of reasons. I got better after starting antibiotics. I try to keep my parents from knowing about things like illnesses because they get way too involved, but I couldn't attend a family function last week so they knew about it. In my sick haze I responded to her texts about my diagnosis and the name of my antibiotic. My mom sends me an article today about how sinus infections don't require antibiotics...her comment was "I'm sure you already know about this, but...".  Yes, mom, you obviously know more than the doctor who has trained for years and sure I'm going to read your article from lord knows what source and just stop taking the meds the doctor prescribed.

She does this kind of thing ALL THE TIME. When I do draw a boundary and ignore calls or texts, or explain that what they've said or done is inappropriate and how it makes me feel they tell me that I'm acting like a dramatic teenager and then they play the victim and all of a sudden I'm the one in the wrong. When things have started to get better and I start to let them in again, then they start the whole cycle over again.

I'm almost 40, married, have kids, have a great job, make good money and don't ask them for anything. There is no level of dependency there at all.  There is no reason why this should be the dynamic between us but yet it is.  When I stand my ground, that's when my dad chimes in and tells me I'm out of line and they (my mom) did nothing to deserve that treatment. Excuse them for caring about me. There is no ownership of what they do and the boundaries they cross--only that it's "coming from a good place" so I need to let it go and answer their questions because they're the parent and worry about me.

How do I handle this? [/quote]

Ball up.  You have to own your feelings. Get therapy[/quote]

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