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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

OP again. Yes, we are old. But he very much wants to have another bio kid. And he’s going to be in grandpa territory anyway, with the kid he already has. My struggle is that he only wants a bio kid conceived naturally - he does not want adoption or fertility treatments.[/quote]

OP, I feel your pain.  He's sending very conflicting messages.  He says he wants to have a child but only under very specific circumstances, so it must make you question whether he really does or not.  Perhaps he feels ambivalent himself?

I also felt like my husband pulled a bit of a bait and switch on me.  We did fertility treatments, had some miscarriages then a stillbirth and he told me he refused to try again for a bio child.  So I had to deal with that.  Then we adopted a boy (which was very easy and reasonably priced process for us.  There are horror stories, but I know many people who were successful within a reasonable amount of time, but I digress...).  At this point we were planning for 3 kids and we had one.  We adopted again (again, simple process), another boy.  He knew that I wanted a girl but decided that two was enough and refused to budge.  So, I had to deal with that, also.

This led to a lot of resentment for several years  but I'm happy to say that i'm mostly over it.  I do still get pangs when  I see baby girls but I have to remind myself that it's a terrible thing to have or adopt an unwanted child.  Ultimately, he did the correct thing, rather than giving into having a child he did not want.  I love my husband and I love my family and divorce was never in the cards.  But I have to admit, it hurt, and it took a while to let go of that resentment.  I'm so happy I ultimately did, as we are a happy little family now.[/quote]

A family of four isn't a little family, it's a standard size.[/quote]

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