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[quote=Anonymous]Is this an AP that you claimed to love, had a deep emotional connection with, etc?  Or more of a FWB?

FWBs are easier.  I simpler told mine that while I loved the sex, I was getting scared about the impact on my family and I wanted to focus on being a good wife for a while.  He amicably agreed, and we went our separate ways.  We still work together and are cordial, even kind of friendly, after many years.  Every once in a while we exchange a glance and a wink, and it's just enough to remind me of what once was.  But he clearly has no expectations.  He's dated other women and appears to be serious with one now.

It's harder when real feelings are involved.  I told that guy the same thing.  He went a little obsessive, made a point of avoiding me so completely that others were starting to notice.  He eventually changed jobs - I don't think 100% because of me, but I have to believe I was a factor based on the deep conversation he used to tell me he was leaving town. I'm sorry for that, but he should have known that getting involved with a married women was not going to last!

Thankfully, none of them every tried to blow up my job or my marriage.  Choose wisely, avoid the crazies.  Keep the breakup plain, simple, "it's not you, it's me", and don't leave any doors open for hope of future rekindling.

(Don't bother lecturing.  I know I'm a skank.  I've been reformed for many, many years.  Just trying to give some practical advice from a BTDT).[/quote]

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