Reply to MILs obsession with cooking with me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You know it isn’t actually about the food, right? It’s about her understanding of what family and tradition means, and her desire to continue a tradition that is precious to her and means family or ethnic identity or whatever. She knows your DH doesn’t care, so she is putting it on you. You have three fine choices: engage cheerfully, knowing it is a gift to you MIL, not to you; talk frankly with DH and say he needs to do it with his mom instead; or tell you MIL as gently but clearly as you can that you don’t want to continue this food tradition, and you don’t want to learn. Just remember it isn’t about food at all.[/quote]

+1.  It's not about the food itself.[/quote]

OP here, and I do understand this. I’m just tired of the burden being on me. I have my own family’s traditions to pass along, and I’m constantly having to actively encourage DH to pass his on. We travel annually to “home country”, and I’m the one buying books in that language, or finding cultural things we can bring home, and getting DD to try the food. At home, DH doesn’t speak the language with DD until like two weeks before his parents come, and then he’s obsessed with her learning it NOW, rather than teaching her bit by bit.

I’m the one, ahead of this visit that sought out several dishes they always talk about but never make, and made them as a surprise. DH complained about this that and the other... his parents were thrilled.

Again, I just don’t want to stock my freezer, and spend my few days that I actually get off, making this dish. I will, I shall, and I’ll smile the whole time, but it shouldn’t be on me to carry, and I’m frustrated. I think I’ve been pretty accommodating, but being told I HAVE to do something is my sticking point. [/quote]

Your Mil sounds just like my Indian MIL![/quote]

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