Reply to How to announce a pet to disapproving parents?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why are Americans so quick to pathologize everything? Telling OP to get therapy...seriously? The concept of individualism isn't universal people. Regardless of your age, there are certain things that remain taboo for people in a particular culture or country. I'm almost 30 but I can tell you that if I call my mom up and mention that I got a tattoo, she would flip. Or if I shaved my head bald. There's no right or wrong, no need to crucify OP's parents. I also left my home country partly because of my suffocating family so I totally understand OP and don't think she needs a shrink. [/quote]

So is OP supposed to play the game of just not telling her parents anything at all about her family's day to day life as time goes on? I guess since they're overseas she can just keep omitting any details or she can just stop speaking to them -- but she already posted earlier that she does not want to cut them off. I posted earlier that OP might want to consider getting an outside perspective if she wants to keep a relationship with her parents because at some point she may not want the continued effort of omitting things of which her parents might not approve. It's going to get pretty wearing to have to remember not to tell the parents that a kid is picking a college major they'll think is dumb, or to avoid saying that she's changing jobs to something they might not like.

The petty stuff about the dog is a signal of a larger issue. If OP is too cowed by her parents to mention something like a dog, she's going to have a far worse time covering up bigger "secrets" that shouldn't be secrets at all. It's not "pathologizing" things for OP to acknowledge that it's no way to maintain an adult relationship and to figure out a better way with some help. [/quote]

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