Reply to My theory on parental happiness and your answer to the perennial "should I have another question?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Love this post! [b] I think people are misinterpreting when they say this means more kids = more happiness.  I think what OP is saying is that the lows get lower and potential highs get higher. [/b] But it doesn't mean that your average state of happiness is lower or higher - I think that is dependent on each individual person and situation.[/quote]

Uh, those two things are the same.  She's saying if you only have one kid, you can't possibly be as happy on your happiest day as the happiest day of someone who has more kids.[/quote]

I think people are reading into this too much. It is just like...intensity maybe is a better term?

A lot of people say fighting with a spouse gets you to a really intense emotional level. And then you have crazy sex and you're just like, FEELING IT. But it doesn't mean they LOVE their spouse more than I love my spouse I don't fight that way with. But that they enjoy and are fulfilled by an intense reaction that I am not fueled by. Every child adds intensity, and therefore high highs, low lows. But you don't love your one child less than I love my two children. You just aren't fulfilled by the intensity of those high highs/low lows that come with added children and their corresponding drama.

I do think at some point this tapers off though, like after 8 kids or something, I don't think you can really have the same kind of significant meaningful one on one relationships with 8 kids plus DH. My grammy had 8 children (Catholic, not on purpose). And she loved them all for sure. But as adults they are all SO competitive with one another still, scrabbling for affection. I think its just a matter of bandwidth at some point.

But for sure up to whatever that line is, the intensity is ratcheted up with every successive kid. [/quote]

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