Reply to My mother’s hurtful words. How to deal with her anger?

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[quote=Anonymous]NP here. Wow it's helpful to me to see how many people relate. OP, my mom is a good and empathetic person when life is calm, but she becomes verbally abusive when stressed. I have the same situation-dad is ill and I became mom-s punching bag. I am not an only child, but live closest., It is common for the one who does the most to be treated like crap and the others who do little are treated well and that is the case in my family.

I set boundaries. I know mom is hurting and I likely was no saint as say an adolescent. I am there for her, but make it clear I will not be talked to in an abusive way. I have pulled back in response and then she becomes more needy, but i don't give in. She hates that I am more distant and detached, but it's how I protect myself and maintain a relationship. She likes to go on and on about how wonderful my siblings are and every now and then I say "wonderful. Please ask Larla to to come into town and take care of X,y and z for you. I could use a break."[/quote]

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