Reply to Why do people care if adult children receive help from their parents/family?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Why do people care if adult children receive help from their parents/family?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I like to be independent. I never take help. I raise my kids, pay my bills.[/quote]

This.  My parents are wealthy. My in-laws are wealthy. We would never accept money from them for anything other than an emergency, which in 30 years of marriage has never happened. The idea of taking money from our families to pay for our kids’ schools or for a down payment on a home would go against everything my DH and I value.  We are adults. We take care of our kids. We pay our bills. I definitely think less of people who accept money from family. We will inherit one day.  But we won’t take money from our families until then. [/quote]

So you think you are morally superior?  This, I do not get. [/quote]

Np and I think this is a morally superior position, yes[/quote]

My parents came from a culture where parents basically set up their children as adults- paying for education, home, car, and even furniture.  A lot of this was part of the marriage process- groom’s parents buy apartment, bride’s buy furniture, maybe car.  People work it out, often with the wealthier family paying more.

Why all this coddling?

Because it is understood that after marriage people need a stable financial situation in order to have children and grandparents want grandchildren!

In theory, you would then save up and pay it forward with your own children.

Is this entire culture which has been doing things this way for a very long time morally inferior?  Or perhaps they are smarter and don’t need to wait until 40 and need IVF treatments to have children?[/quote]

NP here, and this makes complete sense to me even though I'm American. Albeit there should be more modest help if the parents can't afford quite this level of support. Then one day the grown children pay it forward to their own kids. It's a cycle.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics