Reply to Anyone have three kids and consider themselves ambitious/ in a competitive career?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are only 24 hours in a day. Something has to give. I have three kids and work full-time but my job is somewhat flexible as long as it’s not during my 2 month busy period and even then I can take a couple planned days off. My DH works more hours than me but has no trouble working from home a few times a month. We have a full-time nanny.

I’m the kind of mom who likes to volunteer at school, throw birthday parties, attend karate and dance with the kids, cook and eat meals with my children. My DH is the sort of dad who wants to be at parent teacher conferences and pediatrician appointments with us. He is home for dinner and bedtime almost every night and just works again afterwards. We had three kids because we wanted to do these things. I personally can’t imagine not being an involved parent, and I do wonder why people keep having kids if they have no interest in the day to day parenting. 1 or 2 sure, but why 3+?[/quote]

We both work in biglaw and we both do all the stuff you mention. What, do you think biglawyers don’t go to parent teacher conferences or plan their kids’ birthday parties? Honestly “big” jobs often have more hours flexibility. We chaperone field trips, have play dates with neighbors, attend dance/gymnastics not always but sometimes. [/quote]

I was in big law, too. So I know exactly what it’s like. I most certainly would not have been able to make my billables and spend the time with my kids that I do now. Plus the stress would have definitely taken away from the enjoyment. Last minute client emergencies meant unexpected late nights and cancelled plans. No thanks.[/quote]

My H is in biglaw and while it definitely has client demands, there are no nights at the office after 7 or 8. I know it is different for the corporate folks, but he is senior enough now that he leaves at a reasonable hour and works after the kids go to bed. He goes to parent conferences and chaperones field trips for each kid once a year (I am just on standby as a just in case).He travels for work, but I am not in a position that travels. I think 3+ kids is pretty common among his colleagues, but all of them have a spouse that does not travel. We definitely hire out many non-kid related tasks (cleaning/yard mantienence/cooking a few days a week/drycleaning door-to-door). [/quote]

If he's getting home at 7:30-8:30, how much time does he really spend with the kids?  [/quote]

Not the PP, but for two working parents, regardless of whether the job is "big" or not, you really aren't spending much time with them at night. That is just reality. I leave work a little before 5 each day, but the time I get my son from daycare and we get back to our house (we walk), it is almost 6. He goes to bed a little after 7, so I get about an hour with him, my husband (BigLaw) gets about 20-30 minutes, depending on the night. Neither of those are very long, you know? So you might as well work a big job and get the extra money and flexibility that comes along with that. [/quote]

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