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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He needs therapy with someone qualified in [b]addiction behaviors [/b]and likely [b]gastric bypass.[/b] I don't think there is anything you can do other than encourage him to see a therapist. Sorry. [/quote]

This.

More specifically to OP's actual question, how should she support?  
Answer:
1. privately do research on competent/frequent providers of the multiple types of bariatric surgery in your area-on your health plan.  Set aside this info for later.

1.5.   Do some internet reading about life after bariatric surgery and the mandatory lifestyle changes.  This is no small change.

2.  privately research likely therapists trained in addictive behaviors.  Personally, [i]I'd pick a psychiatrist who can prescribe[/i], because I have seen up close the utility of certain meds for this kind of compulsive behavior.  Wellbutrin is one, but there are others and I typically see them taken in combo.  Set aside this info for later.

3.  Have a firm, loving, specific conversation with your DH including your observations and conclusions.   Your conclusions should definitely include PP's take above.  Your DH has a mental illness and seeing it as such will help you reframe the conversation.  This isn't about exercise, "healthy snacks," laziness, or going keto so your DH can be less plump and be the dynamo lover you once knew.

Expect denial and resistance.  Most Americans, fat and slim, still only see morbid obesity as a straightforward  issue of willpower and self-control.

Your husband's brain has actually been re-wired in its stimulation—>reward system, in the frontal lobe.

4.  Find a therapist for yourself who is at least knowledgable about this constellation of symptoms and disease.  You need a neutral sounding board who also isn't going to blithely suggest "after dinner walks" and less SmartPop in the house as an actual solution.

Repeat 3 at intervals.  Don't worry about granola bars too much, because even if you take them away, he'll buy them on the drive home.

Yes, I'm internet diagnosing but I know of what I speak.   I work in inpatient psych, fwiw.

Good luck, and be gentle with yourself.  [/quote]

Thank you! And, you are so right. He buys crap food almost daily when he's out and about. It's like he wants me to 'catch' him though, because he does it with our credit card, which of course I can see on our statements. And there, plain as day, are multitudes of Krispy Kreme, Dunkin Donuts, McDonald's, etc. But yes, you are right - he will get the junk however he wants. It. Is. So. Frustrating. [/quote]

Op, that is hard.  You can not do this for him. If he is hellbent on doing this to himself then there is really not a whole lot you can do.  You can eat like a saint at home, walk with him and if he is running out and buying himself a dozen glazed donuts after eating an egg white omelet at home with you he is undoing everything you just helped him to do for himself.

If he doesn't want to do this it is never going to happen for him.  I am sorry.

Maybe try a psychiatrist and see if he can be prescribed something that will help.

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