Reply to Argument about my fiance's 12 year old daughter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]OP, the real issue here is your inability to discuss this with him without freaking out. Yes, you are over reacting. America, where guns in the home and eating yourself to death = normal but a parent and child sharing a bed = deviant.

Personally, I think every person should learn to sleep alone without fear. It’s just an adaptive skill to have. But lashing out at your partner in anger over this is weird and unproductive. You guys should consider counseling before you get married.[/quote]

I completely agree.  Your inability to discuss this rationally is the bigger issue and you are overreacting.

I've got 3 kids, all 18 months apart in age, and they all had their own beds.  Until the middle kid was 9, they all shared the same room by choice.  When that middle kid was about 11 and had her own room, she went through a period where she was too scared to sleep alone.  It wasn't enough that she had our little dog with her, she wanted someone to sleep with her.  Sometimes it was her younger brother, sometimes it was her dad.  When her grandmother came to visit, it was her. After about a year of CBT, she was able to sleep alone without fear.

I don't see anything inherently wrong with your fiance and his DD sharing a bed when she visits. This is obviously a family norm for them and you coming in, passing judgment and insisting things change doesn't bode well for your relationship with your fiance or his DD.  [/quote]

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