Reply to Is there hope for rebuilding a marriage after an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Staying with a cheater = ultimate demonstration of self-contempt, and admission you have low value and lack options[/quote]

Amen

Anyone who stays has no self respect.[/quote]

Not true.  Someone who stays and helps their spouse deal with their demons doesn't lack self-respect.  If anything, they show compassion and understand that everyone is human and makes mistakes.  My sister did this and their marriage is stronger than ever.  Her husband struggled with issues from his childhood that lead him to engage in escapism and avoid conflict at all costs.  He had a brief affair.  She stayed with him while he went to intense individual counseling and they together went to marital counseling.  She is truly happy now, but it did take time and was a very painful process.  [/quote]

Yes - my brother was dealing with depression and had been married for 10 years.  Unknown to him, his wife was having an extra marital affair with a married man.  Her reasoning was that the marriage lacked the fulfillment that she desired so she hid the extra marital affair from her DH, family, kids until the divorce was final.  The emotional abuse caused by my brother's XW's affair still resonates.  The great end is that my brother dealt with the issue of depression and remarried to a wonderful woman, who is not a cheater or liar.  Karma has its way of addressing individuals who commit affairs and destroy family's.

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