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[quote=Anonymous]Just anecdotally comparing my life (and my closest friends) to my parents (and their closest friends) -- i think we are good comparisons because we have similar demographics/economics (upper middle class suburbs of a major city):

- my mom didn't work.  Her only responsibilities every day were to make our lunch and get us out the door and be in the house when we got home.  We always walked or took a bus to school.  She went to an aerobics class twice a week, followed by coffee.  She did low stress volunteer things pretty consistently (think meals on wheels delivery).  She was pretty actively involved in the church, with lots of women's groups, bible study etc, but most were social events. She was also in two daytime card groups.  Most of her friends had pretty similar lives.  The ones that worked were teachers who stopped working for 10 years for kids, and then when they went back, their days ended sharply at 3pm. No email from parents or evening work for elementary school teachers back then.  Back then, being a teacher was the job you did because it didn't interfere with being a parent. 
- my father traveled for work (75%) but when he was home, he was home and not really working much.  He did zero childcare. His friends had more traditional 9-5 jobs. They were all home by 6pm without any family responsibilities. No email. Most of their jobs were pretty middle management and not super high stress. But they could afford today's $1m+ homes.  Most had no fear of being laid off. 
- Compare with us: DH and I both work (i want to; also couldn't afford the same neighborhood my parents lived in on one salary).  We both work *much* higher up the totem jobs than my parents' upper middle class peers.  We have much higher career stress than my parents' peers had, and.... email.  We both work regularly after hours.  Our commutes are longer.  
- DS is in 1st grade, and has homework every night.  That means I have homework every night. My mom never looked my homework in my life (i never had homework before say 3rd grade).  His school also has constant volunteer and other in-class expectations (i.e., a monthly "your kids are going to present their book study on thursday 11am" and if you don't go, your kid will cry.  Been there, seen it with other kids).  
- DH works and also does childcare.  
- DS has special needs that add a whole different level of stress for us.  Special needs are far more common than 40 years ago, and schools have higher expectations of kids than 40 years ago that are less forgiving of special needs. End result is we have SO MANY friends struggling with the stress of special needs.  This isn't just an increased diagnoses thing.  My parents didn't know anyone with any real special needs kids.

We like our lives, and i don't want to stop working. But holy crap, we go through these waves (usually coinciding with when work or special needs amp up) and we are so tired for weeks or months at a time.  I figure that my DH and I are both baseline stressed at a level that is higher than the most stressful day my mother ever had in her whole life.  Seriously.

And that's why we have a lot less sex these days than we'd like to.  (once to twice a week on average). 
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