Reply to SIL told me I’m breaking her family up

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't have just stood there and said nothing if my SIL said this to me. "I'm sorry you feel this way. Your brother and i are a joint unit now that we're married and we will attend all events together. I'm sorry that you all haven't welcomed me warmly into the family."[/quote]

Nothing makes a person madder than the non-apology apology.  Don't do this.  Polite but distant, and limit contact so they have less to complain about.  When I was first married, my ILs were just terrible to me.  Boycotted the wedding, had BIL call to harass me, cut off contact after the wedding.  You name it.  They wrote a letter to DH saying that I had caused havoc and destroyed their family and wanted me to write an apology letter to everyone in their family.  DH was desperate to get back into contact with his family and I being a dumb, newly married 25 year-old, agreed to write the letter.  I hate myself to this day for doing that, and a part of my relationship with DH died when he agreed with them that I should write the letters.  25 years later I still get angry thinking that I actually wrote the letters.  We have seen over the years how ILs have treated not only us, but their own family members.  They are no longer on speaking terms with any of their own.  Just sit tight and the truth will out, but in the meantime, don't give them anything to discuss, gossip about, or complain about.  Distance yourself and be polite, but take no BS.  [/quote]

He agreed you should write letters of apology basically for having married him? Wow. I'm glad you guys worked it out but that is pretty insane.[/quote]

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