Reply to stopping a potential affair by getting to know the other woman-- does it work?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "stopping a potential affair by getting to know the other woman-- does it work? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I was a spouse who cheated and TBH there's not much my H could've done once I got it in my head that I was going to do it. The mental gymnastics I went though in order to justify my actions are now truly mind-boggling. I rewrote history in my head to make what I was doing "okay." I didn't think much of xAP's wife at all (I didn't know her)...she was a non-entity to me. I was selfish, self-centered, and horrible.

Some things, looking back, that may have helped before I walked that path: connecting more with my H. Neither of us were making much an effort at that time. We didn't do romantic things or even have sex regularly (and this was on both of us). It made a crack into a chasm. Also when I was upset or hurt about something, I turned away from my husband instead of toward him. I thought, he won't understand, he won't be bothered, all excuses to prevent me from connecting with him, being vulnerable. Maybe if he had more aggressively tried to connect with me, I would've reciprocated, and not gone down the path I did. My selfish mind was so messed up I can't tell you if it truly would've helped but it's worth a try.

FWIW, my H and I are still together, nine years after d-day. A lot of work was done, especially on my part (obviously). We now make sure to carve out time for connecting regularly, even if it's sitting on the couch talking for 10 minutes after a long day. I think prioritizing our connection has really helped our marriage.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics