Reply to Thoughts on buying a house with my mother....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Those who say no don't know what it's like to totally enjoy your mother's company and to even want to personally help care for her when that becomes necessary. I know what it's like and it's awesome! My husband loved my mother too, and vice versa. We shared a house for years until many husband and I split up.then my sister and her family moved into the house and lived with mom, which they totally enjoyed as well.

I lived close by the last five years of her life and all four siblings helped with her care and enjoyed her company.

We did not need a lawyer or estate planner to come up with a fair agreement that was no problem even when it came time to divide up her share of the house after she died.[/quote]

I think it's a great idea and would totally live with my mother (if she was still living).  However, you were very lucky from a legal standpoint.  Our family had a situation where it did not go so well -- the sister who was deeded the house in exchange for taking care of her mother dumper her into a crappy nursing home the minute she qualified for Medicaid.  Everyone needs to make sure their interests are protected.  [/quote]

You can change her nursing homes but its near impossible to get a medicaid bed.[/quote]

This. And since there is a long look back period for one’s assets, it sounds like the facts are massaged or misunderstood. [/quote]

Nope.  There are "Medicaid" beds out there (this was in a different part of the country).  It's a long story -- but sibling got deeded a house (next door to residence of Grandmother) for "future care" (was even in writing).  After five years, when Granny started to actually need care, she dumped her into a nursing home on Medicaid.  Granny had Alzheimer's, but nursing home certified that it was for "medical care."  There was an attempt to enforce the written agreement, but local courts there were uninterested.

This is a long way of saying that making a situation like this work requires good faith on everyone's part.  [/quote]
I agree. I feel like your example is faulting someone who was in over their head. 
If she had alzheimer's then she needed much more care than the dd could provide at home. That is a huge burden and the dd would have had to put her in care. [/quote]

All the same, the sibling could have sold the house or split the inherited amount with the other siblings or sold the house to pay for a better nursing home. My read on this is that the sibling kept the nice house without sharing any of the inheritance or trying to improve the situation for the mother.[/quote]

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