Reply to parents of unpopular kids - how do you stop feeling sad?

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[quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't force the invitations. First, she's only in 6th grade!  Certainly don't let her think you're concerned about her being "unpopular."  I'd agree that the best way to form bonds is for your DD to get involved in activities outside of regular school:

- after school clubs (tell her she has to do at least one each semester)
- the school play (even just doing the set crew)
- sports (has to do at last one in fall and one in spring)
- church youth group
- scouts
- weekend ski camp/lessons

Bonds aren't formed by going to class and brief school bus and cafeteria chatter; bonds are formed outside of the day-to-day.  Playdates generally cease to be a thing by 3rd or 4th grade.  Sports are often the biggest way to do this, but the other things listed above are great too.  Saturday mornings, I see sometimes youngish (age 9/10/11?) girls at Washington Episcopal School doing lacrosse practice -- working really hard -- (I'm there for my kids' soccer games on the other field) -- I'm sure they are establishing bonds and friendships together by that shared sweat, hard work, and companionship. And those bonds will absolutely carry over to the school day.

The more your DD can do outside school, the more bonds she'll develop (of course, this doesn't happen overnight).  My kids have friends outside of regular school, which I think is great - some "summer" friends who go to other schools but live in the neighborhood, kids at church youth group (weekend ski trips, sailing trip, retreats really help), kids in their grade and other grades they've gotten to know due to working on the school play each year, etc.  Good luck!
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