Reply to parents of unpopular kids - how do you stop feeling sad?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^^and btw, you can act as your kid's friend.  I'm not talking about the usual topic of being your kid's friend to the exclusion of being a responsible parent, but I'm talking about *in addition* to all the responsible parenting.  My teen jokes sometimes how she's "pathetic because my mom is my best friend," and I say, "Hey, I make a great friend!  And once you're an adult and my job of daily parenting is over, we're going to have even better times!" [/quote]

Exactly and your mom can’t ditch you or move on to another friend! [/quote]

Mom of boys, but I agree with this. I never expected that my 12-year-olds would have "social lives." They went to school, did their extracurricular activities, were invited to the occasional party or play date, but these weren't common (for my oldest DS, these were very uncommon). At home, we played cards and games, baked, watched movies/TV, I read to them, and we planned family outings and activities. It never occurred to me that this was something to feel sad about.

I think you should warmly sympathize with your DD if she is unhappy, but stop catastrophizing. Your DD is normal, she's doing what many (even a majority of) kids her age are doing. There is nothing to feel sad about here. By providing all kinds of advice and strategies, you are encouraging the notion that something is wrong here that needs fixing. She has fun at extracurriculars, had a friend over who she enjoyed (yet she dropped this friendship why?), she's totally normal.

FWIW, my DS1 didn't really have a "social life" until he was a senior in high school. DS2 is more social, now at 15 has some close friends he loves to hang out with. Still spends most nights at home with us.[/quote]

+1
One is my boys was happy being with the family for a long time. The other one was planning his own social life with friends in elementary school. I think there is a wide range of normal![/quote]

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