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Infertility Support and Discussion
Reply to "How forgiving should I be of my friend dealing with infertility?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]“[b]Insult” you how? [/b]If it’s as bad as you say and you aren’t just being sensitive and self centered seems like she doesn’t want you as a friend. [/quote] It's hard to tell without more information about what you consider an insult. Since your friend is in pain -- infertility ranks up there with cancer in terms of how difficult and socially isolating it is, because literally people cannot understand how it feels unless they've been there -- I suggest that you dig deep and try and see if you being more present to her could help. Maybe she is lashing out because she isn't allowed to talk about what she feels, or because it's so painful she can't bear to put it into words. If you could try to see the friend you know and love behind this and tell her, I know this really hurts and sucks and is so unfair. How can I be there? If that doesn't help her see you as on her side, then maybe you need to put a little space. But it honestly is very tough, so just think about the fact that her non-ideal behavior is probably a cry for help. Depends how much you care about her but if she really is such a close friend I think she deserves a little more than this. [/quote] Did you really just compare infertility with cancer?[/quote] https://healthypsych.com/coping-with-the-stress-of-infertility-5-best-practices/ "Psychological research shows that a diagnosis of infertility is as stressful as a diagnosis of cancer. People struggle, often quietly for years, with depression and anxiety due to their prolonged state of infertility. This leads to social isolation, which further exacerbates existing anxiety and depression. Because infertility is invisible, it can become a secret, which can lead to feelings of shame, guilt and personal failure." https://apracticalwedding.com/infertility-worse-than-my-cancer/ "Infertility on the other hand, has been far worse. There are plenty of sources that will tell you that the stress levels of women with infertility are the same as those of women with cancer, AIDS, or heart disease. But they don’t tell you why that is the case. Having had both, I now have a pretty good idea of why. While most women with cancer don’t have it as easy as I did (and it’s not really ever fair to compare diagnoses), having experienced how people treated my cancer, compared with how they’ve reacted to my inability to conceive has taught me a thing or two about stress and the isolation of infertility." [/quote] That is also BS, what psychological research? Where is data? Anecdotal at best. The other is from PracticalWedding?! is this a joke to you?[/quote] The idea that "cancer" is one thing and can be compared to something else like "infertility" is ridiculous. Cancer encompasses a wide range of diseases, some of which are easily treated, some of which require a long, painful battle to survive and result in infertility, and some of which are fatal. For some people infertility means not getting pregnant right away, for others it means they had to take Clomid, for others it means recurrent miscarriage, and for others it means they can never conceive or carry a child, full stop. Each person's situation is different. [/quote]
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