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[quote=Anonymous]Goodness, OP.  Your friend is depressed and going through probably the darkest time in her life.  I have friends that were wonderful friends while we were struggling with infertility, even if they couldn't relate.  They sympathized and offered compassion, volunteered specific help, and asked questions without trying to "fix" things.  If this is truly a best friend, that is how you should act.  It is not about you or your friend relationship right now, it's about supporting someone who needs help from the people closest to her.

THAT SAID, I also know people who were toxic people and traumatic situations let the toxic behavior get out of control.  Those people are worth cutting off.  Stress and trauma does not justify someone being abusive.  If this behavior predates her infertility, I find it hard to believe you've never experienced it before if you've known her since childhood. But if you truly think this is who she is and it's a fundamental character flaw, then you need to decide whether to cut ties with her and lose a presumably 30+ year relationship.  I did that with a childhood friend and it was a true loss, but was necessary.

Whatever you do, be kind.  She doesn't deserve to be ghosted, but I think the letter idea is good.  Let her know that you love her and want to be there, but you feel like a punching bag and you need space.  Maybe that will be the push to get her into therapy or in a support group?  [/quote]

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