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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here: it is a PhD but my parents are not very well versed 
in my interest,  so they think it’s a waste of time. I have a small stipend but they help with miscellaneous costs. They wanted me to be an engineer and well that was not my fit so this whole Women and Gender Studies  is something they are trying to see as being worthwhile yet can’t comprehend. I try to help educate them when they are in the mood but it’s like pulling teeth. Maybe when I present at a conference I’ll have them go. [/quote]
DH and I both have PhDs in physics...and my parents (immigrants) were not happy when I decided to go to grad school. To me, the questions of whether it's a sensible choice and whether your parents support your decisions are separate and unrelated. If your parents are putting themselves in any financial hardship to supplement your stipend, then you need to stop accepting help from them...no matter how much they want to give it. In my case, the problem wasn't helping me financially...it was just a lack of understanding of what I was doing and why. The funny thing is that some of their concerns were valid, and if they had been presented more constructively and less absolutely it would have been helpful information to consider. I would almost certainly still have pursued my PhD, but some of their concerns about future options were valid.

As it turns out, I left academia...several reasons, but one was just not being able to see myself living the rest of my professional life as the only woman in the room. I was actually one of the only women in my subfield, so this would have been difficult to avoid. Nowadays, I make a very nice living in the private sector with a flexible job...but I'm still almost always the only woman in the room. So who's to say what was the "right" decision.

My point is that your parents are probably well-meaning, and some of their concerns are valid. Life is really, really tough for an academic without tenure. Even in a STEM field. It's insanely difficult in the humanities and social sciences, but some people succeed in that route (though you have to be very willing to move anywhere and slog through a lot of uncertainty during your prime childbearing years). But there are a wide array of career opportunities for smart, motivated, high-performing people...it's wise to consider them and plan for contingencies as early as possible. At the end of the day, even though I could certainly have my current job without my PhD, but IMHO it makes me better at what I do and opens certain doors for me. More importantly, for me, it was a life-defining project/adventure to embark on. I would be the person I am if I hadn't pursued my passion and interests...and I think I would always have had regret/nostalgia if I hadn't. Not everyone is like this. One of my closest friends from grad school left after two years. He's had an amazing and fulfilling career so far, with all indications that even cooler things are ahead for him. It was absolutely the right decision for him. Only you know yourself...but see if you can find a place to consider your parents concerns objectively and also truly evaluate your motivations and realistically evaluate your long-term prospects.[/quote]

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