Reply to Tell Me About Being an Only Child

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[quote=Anonymous]Another only checking in here to say it was fine, even great. I don't recall feeling immense pressure to succeed or anything like that, but I can attest to being a bit smothered by parental attention/overprotectiveness (from my mother, anyway). But again, that may just be how she is and might not have been any different if I'd had siblings, and - to her credit - she has backed off considerably since I've reached adulthood. I wasn't lonely growing up; I'm an introvert and have always been perfectly happy entertaining myself on my own. I read a lot as a kid and still do, for example. I wasn't starved for interaction with other kids though, there were always similar-aged children in our neighborhood to play with, and I also had the benefit of cousins who lived in the same town and sometimes overlapped with me during middle school and high school.

In any event, I often think the "lonely with no one at home to play with" story about only children can be a bit of a red herring - after a certain age (10? 11?) who was really at home playing with their siblings anyway? Once kids hit middle and high school, life revolves far more around socializing with friends than family, and I don't think being an only child ever hindered me in the friend-making department. Particularly, in college, I found my way into a group of friends that's become like family to me, several of whom I'm in daily contact with even 10 years after graduating.

I'll also echo others in saying that my being an only meant that my parents had a lot of resources to offer me that they might not have otherwise, and I'm immensely grateful for those things. I was able to get a college degree and a masters, both from private universities, and graduate with absolutely no debt. We traveled plenty when I was young, and even now as an adult my parents will occasionally spring to bring me and my husband along on a trip.

The one downside I'll mention is that as I became an adult, I did start to develop some fear of being completely alone in the world once my parents were gone. But that fear subsided considerably once I got married, and even moreso now that I have a child of my own. For only children, perhaps it becomes more important for us to consciously build more family into our lives since the sibling connection wasn't built in for us.

As for me, I'd be fine with my son being an only since it was my experience and I turned out to be a pretty happy, functional, productive member of society. DH and I are planning to have one more since he'd like to have two and I'd also be fine with expanding our family. But again, if #2 doesn't work out, I have no concerns about what our family life will be like or how my son will turn out.

That's all to say, this is nothing to worry about, OP. [/quote]

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