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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry, OP, maybe you or your DH can volunteer to coach and then play your child as much as you want. [/quote]

My dh coached 6 seasons of rec soccer. He gave kids equal playing time. I realize that classic and travel is a different ballgame, but it surprised me. He doesn’t even give the best player on the team that much field time. [/quote]

Great, your DH should be all set to coach an MSI team then. [/quote]

I get it, I really do. Our family has been there. The people who don’t coach or don’t have a spouse that coaches don’t understand how hard it is, how much time and effort coaches put into the team. I’m not pissed that my kid isn’t getting more playing time, I am truly asking if this is common in the higher levels, thats all, and If people get upset about it. I said the coach is good. I said his kid is good. I said my kid isn’t great. I’m still surprised at just how much he favors his own kid, that’s all. Relax a little, ok? [/quote]

I’m a Rec coach around that age. I coach to favor my kid. I didn’t like how he was being coached before so I stepped up. I now set up trainings to address my son’s development needs as I see them and everyone else is along for the ride. The truth is that they’ve all benefited tremendously because I care more than most rec coaches and the kids notice and benefit from it.  We now have a much better and happier team. And while I try to keep playing time even on the team, I’m always most aware of where and how much my son is playing and much does revolve around what I’m trying to accomplish for him.

That’s being a dad and a coach. And if you do it for everyone’s benefit, it works out great. I love the other kids on the team. I want to see them succeed and I’ve invested years helping them grow and succeed. But I wouldn’t be doing it if my son wasn’t out there too.

It’s your right and duty as a coach to look out for your kid. But I’d hope parent coaches would be fair and equitable and work for all the kids- because that’s the job you volunteer for.[/quote]

NP here, just chiming in to say I have zero problem with this approach.  A dedicated, knowledgeable coach is a great thing to find on a rec team, and I think it's absolutely fine for the coach to focus a lot on addressing his kid's particular development needs so long as he's also working to help the other kids improve too.  The poster who said that only kids trained by A and B licensed coaches make high school teams is a crazy person.  [/quote]

True,  that poster is crazy,  but no,  I don't think it's o.k for coaches to favor their own kids.

I've coached all 3 of mine,  including rec (up to U11) and travel (up to U14).  Even though your motivation to volunteer to coach might be to help your own kid,  by making sure they are in a program that's good for their development,  once you are the coach of a team you have an ethical obligation to each and every kid on that team to do what is best for each of them, to work equally hard for each of them,  and to treat each of them fairly.

It is wrong to show favoritism to your own kid.  It leads to resentment from their teammates.   It shelters them from the hard but valuable lessons that the game has to teach (like if you don't play well and work hard you won't play as much).  It hinders their development.   Worse than any of that is the example it sets for them.   It teaches them that it's o.k for those in power to treat people unfairly.   You will also lose credibility with the rest of the team, because of the double standards.

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