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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One of the girl’s moms my sons group of friends from an EC arranged a nice dinner beforehand at their country club and coordinated rides freshman and sophomore years.  Nice pictures before.  I wrote her a check.  By junior year, the kids made their own plans.

I have a socially clueless boy, so I appreciated it.  The loved being invite, and it took the pressure off a date. Left to his own devices, my kid would never have made a plan and probably would have skipped homecoming.  But this was a very inclusive, all freshmen or sophomores in the extracurricular got  an invite thing.  My kid had a nice dinner and a good time, we have a nice picture of his friend group in a suit and it took a lot of social pressure off him. It cost me about $25 for dinner. Plus the cost of the ticket. No flowers because he didn’t have a date.

Moms can do snobby micromanaging, or they can be helpful and inclusive for 14 year olds who are poor planners . My sons friends mom was the later, and it was really nice of her. I’m pretty sure no one was excluded and no one had their feelings hurt. [/quote]

There is a third group of moms, OP.  Be grateful if you don't come across the "forced inclusion" type.  They are nuts!  I heard of one parent who tried to go to the high school admin, to have their son included forcibly (!!!), into a group of boys attending homecoming.  The boys had made their own plans - as it should be, it is high school.  As you would suspect, that parent is now and forever on that school's radar, by their own doing - and NOT for good reason.  Their poor DC!  It would have been so much better for that DC, in the long run to find people who wanted to include (NOT forcibly, which will always backfire, for obvious reasons).

High school is the perfect time for our children to learn to make plans for themselves, *without* parental micromanagement.  When I have seen micromanaging for homecoming, it is usually a family of all girls, whose mom is trying to live vicariously - or (rather obviously) have their daughters pair up with someone in particular. Everyone knows who that is, it is kind of the running joke.  [b]Sometimes a group of girls will invite a shy kid, and that is kind of nice, but it really sticks out, so it could go either way (by drawing to much attention, not always in a good way).  [/b]

I don't really understand the moms who feel the need to send so many texts and/or make so many phone calls about anything, but I do think they need professional help. Since you asked, OP.[/quote]

Your opinion on this speaks volumes about you, and not in a good way.  I would never try to force any of my kid into a group because they would never speak to me again, but I can empathize with parents who are trying to help their socially awkward kid, even in a very misguided way.  A little empathy goes a long way. [/quote]

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