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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When they were younger, the worst punishment was an old fashioned spanking, which we carried out on some occasions.

As older kids, they haven't given us any reason to punish them.[/quote]

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2017/12/the-fourth-r/547583/

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/04/the-strong-evidence-against-spanking/479937/[/quote]

That first article is excellent. Sure spanking immediately stops the behavior but it ultimately more harmful. And those of you taking away phones are doing it right.

“Spanking is punishment, and punishment doesn’t work,” he said. “We know it with rats, we know it with humans. But if you can connect with a kid when they’re doing something right, they’re more likely to do that again in the future.”

As a father himself, he knows this is difficult to adhere to, but he believes this can happen even in the most difficult situation. “If a kid is having a temper tantrum and throwing things, and then next time they have a tantrum but don’t throw anything, say ‘I’m really glad you didn't throw anything.’”

The other evidence-based approach he recommends is taking something positive away. For younger children, that can mean taking away a toy temporarily. For older children and teenagers, this can mean taking away a cell phone. All of this is in service of teaching children to be respectful without disrupting the vital positive elements of the caretaker-child relationship.[/quote]

We don't spank but if my husband did it as a one time thing like PP I would be ok with it.  It really depends on the kid.  I'd never take away a phone as they have it for my convince not theirs but I would heavily lock it down so they have no internet access, no games, etc.

If my kid throws things in a tantrum, he would not be having those things back for a very long time.  I would not complement my kid having an epic tantrum.[/quote]

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