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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry, OP, and yes, you are teaching your kids to take care of their elders.  But it's totally tough!

My mom is 92 and has been in need of care since 1998.  Right now, after almost dying, she just got out of the hospital, and lives 2 hours away--just far enough to get to but takes up my whole day.  Meanwhile my next door neighbor's husband has Alzheimer's and she just went into the hospital.  And the kids' old babysitter just had a triple bypass and is in another hospital.  Every hospital is 30min-2 hours away, before even parking the car.  I feel so jammed, and two of these situations have been going on for so long.

It's hard to do the whole "self-care" thing but try to, OP.  And in my book, "self-care" does not mean "go for a run" because for me, that's not fun.  (although it's good for you, of course).  I mean, something you like to do--for me it's gardening, or getting coffee with a friend.

I learned a cute but helpful saying--my little mantra:

To be happy, you need three things:

Someone to love
Something to do,
and something to look forward to

So just find something small to look forward to, every day, OP!  I've been sandwiched now for 16 years.  When my teens were little, it was one piece of my favorite chocolate and a cup of tea, when they both went for a nap.  Bliss!

So in my usual day, I'll find something small like that to look forward to, and then something to look forward to for maybe the next day...so right now, I'm thinking sushi for lunch, and meeting a friend for coffee tomorrow.

And it will pass, OP.  The kids will be in college, and our loving elders will die.  Part of "looking forward to something" is thinking about what we'll do with all that extra time once we get it.[/quote]

Thank you - I wish you the best. It is certainly a big boat we are all in

Ironically, I do go for a run almost every day. I have plenty of time for myself and am much less stressed than when the kids were little. It is just this one conflict that is really getting to me, I think because I am so frustrated with my siblings and their hands off approach.[/quote]

I can sympathize. It’s hard to understand how some adult children have no sense of responsibility to their elderly parents, especially when the parents were loving and attentive. I could understand if the parents were abusive, but not if there was a good relationship. My brother ran at the first signs that our Dad needed help. [/quote]

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