Reply to WWYD? Struggling to help my devastated teen DD whose friends/teammates pranked her.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I would phone or talk face-to-face with each of the organizers (parents, coach?) and ask for both clarification and a public apology to my daughter in front of the entire team.

I would explain that their behavior was gratuitously exclusionary and hurtful, and that fit the definition of bullies. This is what bullies do. I would add that it was unprofessional on the part of the coach and that it greatly jeopardizes his or her credibility on the job. I would conclude that they should be ashamed of themselves for thinking this could ever be construed as a fun prank.

[b]And I would talk about it with everyone in the community, naming names. [/b]
[/quote]

I would very much like to do this but I am worried that this is just my Mama Bear/Revenge/Retaliation instinct.  If she decides to stay on the team, would this have a net positive or net negative effect?  If she decides to leave, then yes, absolutely, everyone should know why.[/quote]

She stays on the team and holds her head up high. You raise hell. Doing nothing for the sake of keeping the peace is teaching her the wrong thing here. [/quote]

I like this advice.  Stay on the team, work hard to make varsity next.  Living well is the best revenge.  But yeah, Mom, I would at a minimum reach out to the coach.  My DS is on two HS teams and those coaches work pretty hard to foster TEAM.  I think they'd want to know about this, even if it was outside of school.  Our school emphasizes honor and integrity, and it extends beyond the school day and grounds.  I'd start with the coach and see what kind of response you get.

I'm so sorry this happened, it's beyond sh*tty.  [/quote]

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