Reply to How to know it’s time to give ILs a second chance?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Or is it always “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”?

Quite a while ago I posted about my ILs who basically accused me of keeping our kids away from them and denied visits I made alone with the grandkids even happened while my husband was working, and just really made some hurtful accusations. You all advised me to STOP making these trips, to STOP fascilitating visits, and to NOT see ILs without DH present, all of which I have done. It’s been wonderful not having to deal with them. My DH now coordinates all visits and plans them ONLY when he will be home. It’s been about 8 months or so.

But through the month of October, he will be away pretty much the whole month, aside from 2 weekends, for a work related contract assignment. He left yesterday. We’ve known about this and he set up some accommodations before he left to help me with the logistics of the kids. He will be back next weekend, and then we have a little weekend getaway planned with the kids. Then he will be gone again for two weeks.

Before he left, he hinted that his parents had mentioned coming up to visit the kids while he’s gone. I sort of changed the subject. I’m not sure how to feel about this. How/when do you know if something like this is a good idea? For 8 months we’ve established these roles, and they’ve worked. They don’t have the opportunity to accuse me of anything, because DH is there. They don’t try to push their weight around, because DH is there. I don’t want them to expect that we’ve gone back to the way things used to be if I allow this change.

But maybe I’m being ridiculous? Maybe it’s time to give it a try? I’m being honest when I say this makes me nervous. Will they turn it around and say I didn’t even let them see the kids? Back to the old gaslighting routine?

I DO NOT need them for a break, as I’ve said, that is covered. This would be simply out of the goodness of my heart, but my heart is a little calloused. What says DCUM? [/quote]

[b]DCUM think you're trying to stir up some drama[/b]. If you want drama - do it. If you don't don't. 
But please don't start knuckleheaded threads about how the drama came back into your life and how ILs are so unfair. [/quote]

Huh?  No, DCUM does NOT think OP is trying to stir up drama.  DCUM thinks OP should continue doing what she's done the last 8 months.  If OP's DH isn't around to facilitate the visits, the grandparents do not get visits.  [/quote]

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