Reply to About to present divorce papers to long-time serial cheating spouse that doesn’t know spouse knows..

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Reply to "About to present divorce papers to long-time serial cheating spouse that doesn’t know spouse knows.."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP if your friend REALLY wants to stir the shit, send an email to all of cheater's colleagues on the trip.

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No I am torn between wanting to keep this civil and being irate that his gross trash wife had us all fooled for years. But salting the ground isn’t good for child who should be foremost priority.[/quote]

Are you hot for your friend OP? Maybe now is your chance ...[/quote]

Not that it matters, but no. What did I expect when trying to crowdsource complicated advice? Friend asks my advice an I have no clue. I thought this jaded bunch would have a checklist on the ready. My bad.[/quote]

People have given you advice. I gave you advice upthread.

Don't make a big bruha drama out of it. Serve the papers, take care of the kid, move on from Cathy-Cheats-Alot. MYOB and leave the other spouses out of it.[/quote]

Agree with this advice.  [/quote]

Don’t get this. Every other thread - DH cheats with OW and the pitchfork mob is demanding letters be sent to the OW’s husband. Tables have turned and suddenly - you don’t need to involve the other spouses. Hypocrites. [/quote]

you nailed it.  the mob grabbed their pitch forks once OP revealed that the friend was the DH and that the adulterer was in fact a DW.  Up to that point, the folks here had been supportive, assuming the friend was a woman.  But since it was a man who was the aggrieved party, there must be something wrong with him, something he did to deserve this, etc., etc., etc. good luck finding real advice from this lot.

my advice - your friend will need support to help ensure that life for the child continues as relatively normal as possible - meaning no drop in getting to events, playdates, school, etc. weekends are spent doing fun activities (whatever they may be), and that the child's regular needs are met and not neglected.

for your friend, lawyer up and protect his assets and those for the child.  fight for what he wants  and keep copies of evidence - give it all to the lawyer and keep a full set for himself too.  don't yet go scorched earth on airing anything in public, on social media, etc. as this will contradict the needed efforts to protect the child as much as possible. all of that can wait and should be thought through carefully.  the emotions are running high so this is not the time to do anything rash/stupid.

good luck.[/quote]

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