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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We met at the very end of college, and it was immediate sparks. We got serious quickly and to this day he may well be the most influential person in my life. We were (obviously) young and both rather stubborn - especially early on - but we were extremely real with each other and enjoyed the heck out of doing pretty much anything together. Very, very compatible. But to be honest, I think we both had the general sentiment that a relationship wasn't supposed to be THAT serious at that point (22,23,24). We were very much in love but didn't trust that it could be "real" - you weren't supposed to find the person for you that young, if that makes sense? On my end that was influenced heavily by my parents (who liked him plenty, but had ALWAYS impressed upon me that it was important to explore and grow in your 20s, and not settle down "until at least your mid 20s". Looking back I'm not sure why I placed so much trust or importance in this, aside from just assuming they were older and wiser and knew what was best for me.) On his end, I think, it stemmed mostly just from the fact that he hadn't seen himself being on THAT track at such a young age - he definitely wanted marriage etc, but in his mind that was something you do in your 30s. So basically, we broke up when it kind of hit that point of get serious or bail. More specifically, he moved for a job and we tried long distance for awhile, but ultimately decided we shouldn't be wrapped up in that kind of commitment st our ages. He later cried and told me he'd wanted to ask me to move with him but didn't feel like he could; I have no idea if I would have (honestly, I know my parents would have been strongly against it and that probably would have been enough to stop me at that age), but certainly wasn't going to be the one to push it regardless. So we had a sad, drawn out, and somewhat dramatic breakup and then didn't talk for over 6 years.

We saw each other once when I was newly married to my husband, and happened to be in the same place (for a mutual friend's funeral, actually). When we hugged my knees went weak, my heart started pounding, and I felt like I'd just taken a hit of something intense - all jittery and alive. When we pulled away he just stared at me with an incredulous look on his face and shakily said something about 'wow, that was...quite a hug." All that to say, I know he felt it too. We caught up briefly and all those feelings came rushing back - it was way too easy to talk to him and I remembered (or recognized, really - as I attempted to describe above, I didn't truly appreciate the true rarity of what we had at the time we were together). He wanted to stay in touch and "be friends", but I recognized pretty quickly that only bad things and complicated feelings could come from that, so we don't stay in touch. We're not connected on social media or anything - no real good could come of it. I hear from him maybe once every 3 years - he'll send a 'happy birthday, hope you're great' or something of the sort. I respond but am careful to keep the conversation brief. I'm somewhat aware that there's something about the connection we have, and I know it would be too easy to get sucked in. I know for a fact he thinks about me wistfully, and of course I have similar feelings about him. He isn't married yet and I confess that i will feel a real twinge whenever that happens. Some little part of me will always love him (I am actually repeating exactly what he said to me with that), and he shows up in my dreams on a semi-regular basis even when we haven't talked in years. BUT, we don't talk because I know it would only complicate things and I don't want to put myself through that.

Bottom line: we met too damn young and we didn't trust it. I wouldn't say that I wish i'd ended up with him instead, necessarily - I have a wonderful marriage with an amazing husband who is, in many ways, a better matched partner for me in the long run. I have enough perspective to understand that part of what makes what we had feel so special is that it was short-lived and then it ended - the idea of us is all the sweeter in our minds for not having actually been lived. I'm truly in love with my husband, I love our life together and I would never throw it away for what might have been. But yes, sometimes I wonder...[/quote]

PP do you think you'll eventually end up with him?  [/quote]

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